Sure, he's a hellovan actor. But did you know that he's also a physical freak? It isn't a secret that Gary Sinise's big break came when he was chosen to play Lieutenant Dan in that bench-bound soundtrack of a movie Forrest Gump. What most people don't realize, though, is that, in the quest to hopelessly taint the English language and further cement the rest of the nation's assumption that all Southerners are at least mildly mentally handicapped, the producers spent way too much money (JFK required a seriously fancy trailer). Gary Sinise got the role not only through his fine acting skills, but also through his willingness to cut production costs by hacking off his own legs.
It isn't entirely clear from what we know if Sinise knew at the time that his legs would grow back. It seems unlikely, though, that he was unaware of his spectacular regenerative abilities. What we do know of his extraordinary body raises only questions, not answers. His body holds almost exactly double what a normal, similarly-sized body would. He can regenerate himself nearly perfectly, but only from the belly-button down. His left arm is perfectly symmetrical to all appearances, but is almost seven times as strong. His armpit hair is as coarse and strong as steel wool. We know all of this, but what we don't know at all is why.
Gary Sinise doesn't act much these days. Along with his physical prowess, it seems that he was blessed with a strong sense of justice. He now donates the use of his freakish sense of smell and microscopic vision to the NYPD (as well as his encyclopedic knowledge of Random Shit), working as a detective and crime scene investigator. Even better, he is an unpaid producer on the documentary television show CSI:NY, which raises awareness of the issues and struggles that the NYPD face every day.
Gary Sinise: Freak. Hero.
Rumor has it that Bear Grylls, legendary survivor and hotel occupant, may have murdered a member of his camera crew. It seems that Bear was cold, hungry, wet, and seriously ill in the wild mountains of some dumb place to visit, and the cameraman was just standing there filming him, eating a candy bar. The former SAS officer snapped and broke the cameraman's neck. This is not terribly unusual with such shows. Reports related to this incident are more interesting, though, because Bear apparently eschewed the candy bar and simply started tearing off chunks of the fresh kill with his vicious British teeth. Bear, who has the coolest name ever, then calmly picked up the camera and turned it toward himself and explained the best parts of a human corpse to eat (the glutes, it seems) as the rest of the crew looked on in stunned horror.
