Elegant Doom

The Value of a Dollar

I realize that our currency's relative power in markets both worldwide and domestic is shifting all about in a manner less predictable than Schrodinger's Cat on Crystal Meth.  Still, people, I think that we've got entirely the wrong idea here.

{The Google Research Method}

September 24, 2007

In the course of our constant mining of the information Google has to offer, we discovered that on September 24, 2007, the world inexplicably got much, much weirder.  Never you mind why we were looking at this data.

(screencap taken 08/06/08)

No word yet on why Aussies are so fucking interested in having sex with amputees.  Our current theories all revolve around the general weirdness that living in the Southern Hemisphere brings on and snakebites.

{The Google Research Method}

We're Fucked.

Ok, maybe that's a little doom-and-gloom.  Maybe we're not really fucked, maybe this just shows that we need to turn things around a little.

Wait, we're not going to turn this around.  This is evidence of the very reason why we won't turn things around.  I was right the first time.  We're fucked.

{The Google Research Method}

Douchebaggery On The Rise

Douchebag levels are up more than three hundred percent since 2004, according to a recent Elegant Doom study of Google Trends figures.  This is despite a significant decline over that same period of Ashton Kutcher exposure.  The Elegant Doom team will be carefully looking into these figures to try to find the source of all of this douchebaggery.

(Google trends screencap taken 7-16-08)

{The Google Research Method}

Proof at Last: Rock Beats Paper

Rock beating paper was not unexpected.  We had not anticipated, though, that paper beats scissors.  Further proof of the value of the Google Research Method.

Watch American Fears Manipulated

America is being fooled.  We are a nation of immigrants who is allowing those in power (whomever it may be) to use immigration to distract us from what we should justly be truly afraid of.  This is, I think, ample evidence.

{The Google Research Method}