Tangerine trees: the sluttiest tree in the animal kingdom. What, you think that delicious Tangelos are the product of some sort of sick crossbreeding experiment by horticulturists? No, while those botanical ne'er-do-wells will screw with nature just about any way you can think of, even they can't compete with how prolifically seductive those orange-fruited bastards can be. What's worse, the unnatural offspring are generally twisted, perverse, and violently evil creatures (like tangelos often are). Even Hollywood celebrities, Nature's royalty, aren't immune to their charm. Legendary star of film and television Jon Voight (star of such classics as National Treasure 2 and that movie where Ice Cube fights the giant rubber snake) fell for the uncanny charm of a tangerine tree. After a wonderful 17-month pregnancy, Jon (the Poor Man's Christopher Walken) gave birth to the dangerous crossbreed that we today call Tangelina Jolie (who drinks the blood of orphans and sometimes acts as her half-sister's stunt double).
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April 27, 2008
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that "moisture" bursting out from under tangelina, is that because she sees me?
Posted by: theforce | May 02, 2008 at 08:22 PM