Sea Turtles: Aquatic Mammals or Terrorists?

New evidence seems to surface every day that indicates that there may well be a vast Sea Turtle conspiracy to destroy humanity.  Look, I'm not saying that this is true, or that it isn't true.  They certainly are cute.  But isn't is possible that this cuteness is nothing more than a ruse, a diversion to distract us from their evil ways?  While we're out making these animals into movie stars and putting them on our license plates, are they undermining our society through acts of fear and death?   Shouldn't we take precautions, just to be sure?  What are they doing sneaking silently up our beaches in the dead of night?  I say we throw floodlights on them to make sure that they aren't planting explosive devices designed to kill America's richest (and thus best and most important) people.

Comments

[Ann]

I do find it strange that these, for lack of a better term, "animals," Seem to frequent the distant, un-developed beaches that are primarily used by upper class Americans as vacation spots. It just seems a little too convenient.

[Roach]

you a bitch

[mzvzzbzz]

The Turtles know exactly what they're doing and who they're targeting.

Lost/finagled jewelry items are stockpiled with Neptune who makes occasional loans to ZOG.

[theforce]

ZOG owes me BIG....